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 Should I be Strong?

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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:42 pm

Hi Gals! I have an issue, which is honestly worrying me about the western gal community. As I posted in my intro, I use to be a Ulzzang, now im a Gal in Training. Doing my Ulzzang days I got so much hate from a western gal/lolita from NYC. I honestly thought it was jealously, but then things got extreme, with threatening mgs, & her stealing my pics & posting them on different forums bashing me. (Not Galsecerts) since I wasnt a gal. Anythiing I do or did, she will attack me. I honestly, dont even know this person, never spoke to them one on one. I just know OF this person, because of her actions towards me. Im overly friendly, very nice, & have never gotten into any type of drama in the western gal community. Im alittle worried to get into the Gal scene, becuz I know this person will just continue to bash me untill I go away. My friends say I just should "flame" her back, but thats not in my natuarl. I would never want to make this person feel the way she made me feel.
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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:47 pm

This person is very popular in the Gal commuinty for her "Meaness". It worrys me because, many people side with her. Maybe they feel scared, or threaten by her actions? I honestly dont know gals. But this person, is very popular and shes not even a Gal. Im worried, because since she doesnt like me for "whatever" reason, I wont get any help in the Gal community. She has many gal friends even though shes not gal. Im worried that all Gals, would turn there backs on me because of this bully. Im actually worried to post on everyday_gyaru because of this ONE person. I know I need to be strong and ignore her. But how do you get away from someone that knows many gals, and will continue to flame me wherever I go? Am I being to nice by ignore her? Should I stand my ground and attack back? If I did, would I be know better then her? Help Gals.

(P.S: Sorry for the double post it wouldnt let me edit my first post and add on. My apologizes Gals.)
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Aya

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:20 pm

Oh my.....

This sounds like jealousy to me. I used to have some girls at school, bitchin' me behind my back for NO REASON at all. I have always been nice to them. And they STILL hate me for no reason.

But this is a step further...

have you talked to her? Like... Hey why are you doing this to me? I've done nothing wrong, tell me why?

And people are probably behind that girl's back BECAUSE she is mean, and they don't want her to be their ennemy... Not because they agree with her actions.

Don't attack her back, try and talk to her nicely first. Be the mature one...

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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:30 pm

Aya wrote:
Oh my.....

This sounds like jealousy to me. I used to have some girls at school, bitchin' me behind my back for NO REASON at all. I have always been nice to them. And they STILL hate me for no reason.

But this is a step further...

have you talked to her? Like... Hey why are you doing this to me? I've done nothing wrong, tell me why?

And people are probably behind that girl's back BECAUSE she is mean, and they don't want her to be their ennemy... Not because they agree with her actions.

Don't attack her back, try and talk to her nicely first. Be the mature one...

Hey Aya, I agree. People are afraid to become her enemy. I think talking to her would just make things worse. I think she wants my attention, and feeds off of it. I honestly believe, she doesnt lme ike because she thinks I "photoshop my pics". Most Ulzzangs are 75% Photoshop, so she assumed I did. I dont even own photoshop! Its extremely expensive, and im not even pc savy to be messin around with that stuff.
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Hikitty
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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:33 pm

If she really is as popular and influential as you say she is then I wouldn't imagine that retaliating in any form - particularly flaming - will do you any good. If anything it'll just increase your problem tenfold as her online friends jump in to defend her. It's probably not what you want to hear, but you have two options;

One: Post in the community for help and ignore her cattiness. It doesn't matter how influential she is; when she starts relentlessly flaming you for no reason, anyone with any decent sense of morals will eventually realise that you've done nothing wrong yourself and she's being pathetic.

Or Two: Don't post. Avoid being an active member of the online community and take away any images she may be able to use against you.

If you do nothing wrong, I don't see how every single Gal in the community is going to go "Yes, I do enjoy being a mindless sheep. I don't know this girl, but this other girl who is more popular than me hates her, so I will too ... for no good reason!" That's high school mentality (and this practical stalker of yours seems every bit as immature as a thirteen year old) and I'd have hoped the majority of the community have grown out of such a childish mindset.

And just a final point to add; it doesn't matter how popular you are in this community, you are still eligible for haters to bash you week after week. Some of the best gyaru in the community are relentlessly tortured over gyaru secrets, and you know what? They dealt with it, kept posting, ignored it. In the end, come on, it's the internet. Besides which communities are moderated for a reason. If she starts being needlessly aggressive and particularly if she sends you threatening messages, forward them to a mod or admin and request disciplinary action.

My advice? Don't let such an insecure, selfish and cruel individual rule your life. She has no right to chase you from anywhere, and you don't have to let her. Take charge.
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Nilastra

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:37 pm

I have to agree with Aya, don't sink to a low level and bash back. Any supporters this person has probably are probably only supporting her so they don't get bashed themselves and like sheep the simply follow. Besides , as long as you just don't let her get to you and continue being nice and whatnot you'll gain friends who'll like you for yourself, and not out of fear like this person. I say you should post on e_g regardless and just ignore her if she bashes you out of spite, they'll be other people that would help you and support you so she'll just end up making herself look worse . Just my thoughts D:
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Aya

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:40 pm

Yeah if you stay inactive, she won't flame you anymore, that's for sure...

If she accuses you of photoshopping your pictures, I guess that SHE IS photoshopping hers. My hypothesis.

Have you talked to a moderator about her? Because this is childish and unrespectful.
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Hikitty
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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:45 pm

DollyEyez wrote:
I dont even own photoshop! Its extremely expensive, and im not even pc savy to be messin around with that stuff.
Oh no no no, photo shop is very cheap if you just download it offline. You'll end up with a trial version which lasts so many days until it runs out because you don't have an activation code. But that's easy enough to get out of. You can just search for 'Photoshop # activation code' on google and you'll find a forum where people post their own codes which you can just use instead. I needed it for my college work, but I didn't have hundreds of pounds to spend on it.
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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:48 pm

Hikitty: Thanks so much for your post. I appericate your honesty. Your advice is extremely helpful. Ignoring & Reporting her would do me good.

Nilastra: Your right bashing back wouldnt do me any good. I dont want to start a war.

Aya: I havent talked to a mod about her, because its on many different sites. Facebook, Ricochet, LJ, Formspring & My twitter. Thats alot of mods to go too! lol.

Its going to be a tough role for me to become gyaru, because of her. Starting out with zero gal friends, and ignoring this person. Id make the best of it and wont give up.<3
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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:51 pm

Hikitty wrote:
DollyEyez wrote:
I dont even own photoshop! Its extremely expensive, and im not even pc savy to be messin around with that stuff.
Oh no no no, photo shop is very cheap if you just download it offline. You'll end up with a trial version which lasts so many days until it runs out because you don't have an activation code. But that's easy enough to get out of. You can just search for 'Photoshop # activation code' on google and you'll find a forum where people post their own codes which you can just use instead. I needed it for my college work, but I didn't have hundreds of pounds to spend on it.

PS will be good for graphic design. For my photos, I refuse to use it because I want to look the same in and out of my photos! Nothing against it! I know sometimes its for photo correction like acne, belmishes ect.
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Aya

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:56 pm

OMg even on facebook? She's crazy!!! She have nothing better to do???....

Ignore her.

And i'll be your first gyaru friend. Smile

Do what you have to do to be a gyaru!!! Don't let her take you down!!! Be strong!
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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 3:00 pm

Aya wrote:
OMg even on facebook? She's crazy!!! She have nothing better to do???....

Ignore her.

And i'll be your first gyaru friend. Smile

Do what you have to do to be a gyaru!!! Don't let her take you down!!! Be strong!

*Hugs* Aya, your Overly Nice. Just like me. Im sure we would be great friends! Maybe you can help me out, or maybe we can help each other. Your right. Id be the best gyaru I can be and wont stop for anyone. & Yes my facebook as well. I closed it down 2months ago because of her. I need to be stronger. My friendlyness is my weakness. I cant treat others badly, even if they have treated me that way. Im too nice sometimes.
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Nilastra

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Thu Sep 16, 2010 4:09 pm

Hikitty wrote:
DollyEyez wrote:
I dont even own photoshop! Its extremely expensive, and im not even pc savy to be messin around with that stuff.
Oh no no no, photo shop is very cheap if you just download it offline. You'll end up with a trial version which lasts so many days until it runs out because you don't have an activation code. But that's easy enough to get out of. You can just search for 'Photoshop # activation code' on google and you'll find a forum where people post their own codes which you can just use instead. I needed it for my college work, but I didn't have hundreds of pounds to spend on it.
LoL sly sly! But I approve of this, except gimp is essentially the same thing, and you can get it for free. They include the same components from what I've seen, it's just you have more control over things with gimp so it seems more complex then just clicking buttons on photoshop. Also you have to add in the extensions, so Hikitty's advice is good.
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Hikitty
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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:17 am

@Aya
Why would you delete your Facebook ... ? All you had to do was unfriend her, block her in your privacy settings so she couldn't comment on or see your posts on Facebook and report her for abuse. It's not that hard. Not to mention why would you add her in the first place when you knew what she was like (or add a stranger).
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Giuliam

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:51 am

I wouldn't worry about what other people say. If it's obvious this person is bashing you in a public community, then the mods will likely take care it.

I think it's also important to remember that gal is meant to exist outside of the Internet. I see girls say things like, "The Western gal community is so mean, I'm giving up on gal!" or "Someone said I looked fat, so gal obviously isn't the right style for me!" To be honest, that's weak. You should dress gal because it makes you happy, not for other people's seal of approval.

If you're on LJ, I would suggest posting your gal-related entries to your own personal journal so only the friends you trust can see it. That way you have absolute control over your privacy and any criticism you do get will be in your best interest.
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mademoisellem

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:50 am

Girls tend to be means, always in all "subcultures". I don't think it's jealousy. She only thinks it's fun to be mean. She wants to be like the queen-bee. Confront her! (SORRY MY ENGLISH IS NO GOOD AND MY SPELLING PROGRAM DOESN'T WORK)
I feel so sorry for you.
But, it's always like that. Always the picking on girls by girls and even guys.



Btw,
she sounds like a total psychobitch.
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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Fri Sep 17, 2010 6:22 am

HiKitty: Lots of Fake Accounts would be made by her just to get to my facebook.. It was patheic, after blocking her accounts over and over again. I Honestly just gave up.

Giuliam: Hey, thanks for your suggestion. Seems like the right way, instead of walking into a total war.

mademoisellem: Theres a difference in girls wanting to have fun, and then theres someone being a total stalker! I honestly dont know what to call it, jealously or an obession. I honestly can handle Brutal criticism. However, I cant handle stalking, and threats. Its insane, for what I go through just because I was a Ulzzang.

Maybe, she thinks im a threat to her? Maybe, shes just someone that likes to start drama? I know, Ive never even spoken to her before. Its not that she scares me, because she doesnt. Im just worried, I wont ever have a chance with western gals because many feel threaten by her. I think Gals would either agree with the situation, because they dont want to make her an enemy! Or they will just stay away from me.
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mademoisellem

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Fri Sep 17, 2010 6:59 am

Well it is illegal to stalk people. Report her if it starts to feel scary.
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DollyEyez

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Fri Sep 17, 2010 9:56 am

mademoisellem wrote:
Well it is illegal to stalk people. Report her if it starts to feel scary.
?

Thanks and I will. You all have been great help. Really <3
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ahn ne

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:35 pm

I say post on e_g.
There are A LOT of nice girls on that site that will ignore her comments as well, and help you!
If you're honestly doing nothing wrong like you say,
then someone will back you up, or someone will be there for you eventually.

And if I see her say something to you that's ridiculous,
I'll stand up for you.
Because I don't care what the entire western GAL comm thinks of me
if they all are followers of someone ignorant and rude.

So just live your life with out her--ignore her.
Someone will put her in her place eventually.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:04 pm

You should definitly just Keep posting:D Ignore her I know thats harder said than done but you can't let her do that to you. DONT GIVE UP ON GYARU!!! You are winning alot of girls over on fg lol like me kawaii so if you ever need anyone to stand up for you,you know where to look:D anywhoo Ignore dont let her get you down:D
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YukiNeko

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:41 pm

Report her accounts on websites, report to the police, find gyaru and ulzzang friends to back you up. That's all I can suggest/
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Brackishx

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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:26 pm

I know this is an old topic but I can't stress enough on staying strong.

She's a troll. She obviously enjoys getting a rise out of you and ultimately will feel succesful if she runs you out of all of the gyaru communities. KEEP POSTING!
I WILL BACK YOU UP. And I know there are tons of other gals that will too.

After one post and already showing up on gal secrets, I know all of the western gyaru's hate me too.

The best thing you can do is ignore her and pretend she's not even bothering you at all. That pisses trolls off the most.
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Hikitty
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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:32 pm

Brackishx wrote:
After one post and already showing up on gal secrets, I know all of the western gyaru's hate me too.
Now don't you go believing that. One girl who thought that everyday_gyaru should only allow the cream of the crop and stop offering help to new girls genuinely interested in improving is not the same as the entire community. I personally think you have a lot of potential, don't be discouraged. You were given some helpful advice to follow, take it to heart and get your own back. It is so satisfying.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I be Strong?    Mon Nov 08, 2010 4:12 pm

Hikitty wrote:
Brackishx wrote:
After one post and already showing up on gal secrets, I know all of the western gyaru's hate me too.
Now don't you go believing that. One girl who thought that everyday_gyaru should only allow the cream of the crop and stop offering help to new girls genuinely interested in improving is not the same as the entire community. I personally think you have a lot of potential, don't be discouraged. You were given some helpful advice to follow, take it to heart and get your own back. It is so satisfying.

Thankss.
I know I was given advice, good advice too. but I honestly felt like I was not welcome there by more than one of the people there. it's a little bit discouraging but it's also fuel to get better thats for sure. I don't let cruel people bring me down like thatt!
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